Here we are again and i’m doing what I seem to do best. Fuck everything up. I don’t know how things got this bad. I thought I was finally happy. You know, I thought about you, and I kept you close to my heart, but I had time to really smile, and really laugh, and really love. But all of it’s gone. I can’t do it anymore. I’m not happy. I’m a wreck. I’ve done what I had promised not to do. I broke and I took it out. I should have thrown it out. I should have taken everything breakable away.
Once I started I couldn’t stop either. It’s more than I planned and I’ve thought all day about going into my room and giving myself hell. But i’ve stayed away because I don’t want to hurt anyone else. But it’s 1 am, and i have to go there eventually. I’m scared Jake. I just need someone like you back in my life. I’ll never get that though. When I signed the song, it was to you. I’ll never find someone as good for me as you were. As of right now, i’m giving up all hope of it. No more meeting nice people and thinking ’ This could be it.’ Not that I have been, but I know I probably will. I’m stopping a bad habit before it starts. I guess that’s one thing to be proud of. Except I hate myself too much. I know i’m going to regret telling you this, because you would never listen before but I feel so worthless now. I just I lost everything that was keeping my heart warm. It feels empty again. Like they day of your funeral. The same, sinking feeling in my chest, and my back is all tight and my neck feels twisted. My fingers are cold and I’m shaking just a little. What’s going on with me Jake, make it stop.
I don’t want to lose what I have. I already lost you.
that was proper grammar, unless you're talking about the fact that my I wasn't capitalized, either way, fuck you, you're a fucking idiot, and when I say I LITERALLY hope Erin dies, it's because I LITERALLY want her to.